Cleveland (On The) Rocks!

Cleveland was so cold... (This is your part) "How cold was it?" Cleveland was so cold, that it made me say, "Gawddamn it! It's really fucking cold in Cleveland!!" I know that wasn't funny, but neither is a high of 25ºF. That was on Friday when we arrived. By Sunday it had really warmed up... to 35ºF. Those aren't "High" temperatures. Those are "Just Not As Cold As It's Gonna Be Later" temperatures. Okay, that's enough about the weather. It was cold. You got it. I'm glad to be back in shorts. Let's move on.

The reason for the trip was to attend the wedding of Liz's cousin Jimmy. I've now met this portion of Liz's family twice. They're really nice people, & again I am grateful that I get along with her family so well. We took a red-eye flight on Thursday night, & arrived in "The Sixth City" at 6:50am, local time. So, after sleeping maybe 2 hours on the plane, we did exactly what anybody would want to do. That's right, we went to breakfast. Sleep would hafta wait. We met Liz's grandpa, & a couple of his friends, at a local chain restaurant called "Friendly's." Not great food, but I've had worse. Actually, the home fries were quite tasty. Finally, off to the hotel, couple more hours of sleep, & the weekend's events would really begin.

First stop, bowling with Grandpa Dietz. Like a lot of Mid-Westerners, he's an avid bowler & competes in two different leagues. Now, I did not have one of my best days bowling. But neither did he, & he still beat us all in both games. This guy, has bowled a perfect "300" game, & I was glad that he did not drop one of those on me. That night, was the rehearsal dinner, which was at "The Great Lakes Brewing Co." Great beer! I had the "Eliot Ness Amber Lager" & "Edmund Fitzgerald Porter." The porter had this amazing smoky aftertaste. It was almost like having a cigar with this beer. If ya ever get to Cleveland, I definitely recommend checking them out.

Saturday was wedding day. But before that, I got to experience another local favorite, "Skyline Chili." Now, this isn't Southwest style chili. It has it's own flavor, & it's served over spaghetti. I love this stuff! Good, good eats. The wedding, was... Well, it was a wedding. Nothing you haven't been to before. The only thing I will say about it is this. They had the WORST DJ I've ever heard. He played awful mixes of music, never able to keep people on the dance floor for more than a couple of songs. That is , when he could actually get people to get out there & actually dance. Now my wife loves to dance, but I don't think you could have paid her to get out there to shake her thing. But with that said, the service was very nice & Liz's other cousin Rich, gave a great best man's speech. I wish nothing but luck & love to Jimmy & his new wife (and my new cousin) Beth. Congratulations, again, to you both.

Out final day, Sunday, was the day that I was waiting for. I got to visit "The Rock 'N' Roll Hall Of Fame & Museum"! I've wanted to visit this place since it was opened in 1995. I wasn't gonna miss my chance. This is where I would have liked to share some pictures of what I saw. But, unfortunately, not all the artists that consented to have their submissions photographed. So, photography is completely prohibited in The Hall. You'll just hafta enjoy this shot I took of the outside of the building & believe me when I say, that I saw some amazing history. A great Beach Boys exhibit. A behind-the-scenes look at The Beatles' movie "Help!" ZZ Top's Eliminator coupe. Plus, many other fascinating displays of costumes, set pieces & memorabilia. I can't wait to go back. New things are always added, & there are special exhibits that come in regularly. But, I think the next time we head to Cleveland, I'm gonna try a wrangle a field-trip to Canton, to visit the "NFL Hall Of Fame." I'll let ya know how that works out.

That pretty much sums it up. A fun trip, when all was said and done. Cleveland definitely had a feel to it that I've never experienced before, & don't really know how to describe it. It didn't feel like any big city I've been to before. Maybe, that's the Mid-West locale of it coming through it. But, I'm sure I'll be back & maybe I'll be able to get a better feel for it then. I'll let ya know when I do.

Just Because I Said I Would

I don't really have a full blog to post right now, because I'm on the road. Cleveland, to be exact. But, because I want to blog about my trip, I can't do that until it's over. I gotta download pictures, digest all that's gone on, not to mention the Mid-West cooking I've taken in. But, when I started this whole thing, I said I would blog every weekend. So, this fills that quotient. The full blog, will hopefully happen tomorrow, maybe Tuesday. So, check back then & read about my very cold adventure! Thanx.

Book Review - "Big Bosoms And Square Jaws: The Biography Of Russ Meyer, King Of The Sex Film" by Jimmy McDonough

This will be the first time I attempt to write a review of anything.  Hopefully, it won't be my last.  So, please bear with me as I stumble through this first attempt.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.  So, here we go...

Do you like porn?  Of course you do.  Who doesn't?  Well, one person didn't.  Russ Meyer.  He saw it unexciting, flat (as a lot of the girls were, in his opinion), & just not sexy.  All ya needed was a willing female, a hotel room & a camera.  No art whatsoever.  But, for someone who didn't care for the stuff, few people did more to help bring it to the mainstream.

Born Russell Albion Meyer, on March 21, 1922 in San Leandro CA.  He got his first camera at age 14, when his Mother pawned her wedding ring to get the money.  His mother started a career, that she would never support.  Often referring to the well-endowed starlets he would bring around as "cows."  But in the end, Russ was a momma's boy, carrying a picture of her, with him throughout his life.  He also had a half-sister, that suffered from mental illness, that he would care until she passed.  He served in World War II in the 166th Photo Corps, documenting the action.  Some of his footage can even be in the 1971 movie "Patton."  After the war, he took a job making industrial films.  These later two positions, are what most people credit for his gonzo, yet efficient, style filmmaking.  Also, the connections that he made with his comrades in the 166th, would last for the rest of his life.  He would make sure of that.  Many of them would work as crew members on his fims, & even some of them would appear before the camera.

He would make a total of 25 films between the years 1952-2001.  Ironically, his most well known film "Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!", was actually one of his biggest flops at the time of its release.  He fought the MPAA over ratings his films received, & won many of his lawsuits.  Perhaps even blazing the trail for such people as Larry Flynt, to do the same.  But, in the end, he didn't really care what rating his films got.  What went up on that screen was him, through & through.  And, no one was going to quantify it.  His fingerprints were all over every facet of his films.  He ran his sets like military camps, & he was the general.  He would go so far, as to prohibit any copulations between cast & crew.  He wanted them to save all their vital juices for the scenes.  The all-or-nothing devotion he required from those he worked with would have one of two consequences.  A life-long loyal friend, or bitter enemy to the end, if he ever felt you had somehow done him, or his pictures, wrong.

Later in his life, RM would succumb to dementia brought on by Alzheimer's disease.  During this time, his business, & personal, affairs would be taken over by his personal assistant.  Some, would even say, they wrenched away from a man who could no longer see the wolf in sheep's clothing.  Slowly, she would shelter him away, cutting off all contact to him from the outside world.  Some of his closest friends did not see him for years.  Russ Meyer died September 18, 2004, from Pneumonia.

The book itself, is a par for the course biography.  It's not gonna sell anyone who wasn't already interested in this man's life.  The narration is at times too disconnected, & at others, far too biased for someone this man obviously revered.  Parts delve too far into the minutia of behind the scenes affairs.  By the third film, you knew what kind of set he ran, there was no need to go into it again for his 15th.  But, in the end I did find the book enjoyable & informative.  Maybe, just a tad overly long winded.  But, if ya really like long winded ramblings, I suggest you pick up Russ Meyer's own 3 volume(!) autobiography "A Clean Breast."  It'll only run ya about $200 at Amazon.  Or save yourself some time (and some sanity) & pick up this one, to learn more about one of films most fascinating & singular talents.  Go, Russ Go!

The Land That Is Disney

What is it about a place, that at 37 years old, I still get excited when I have a chance to go?  After all these years, countless visits, Disneyland remains one of my favorite destinations.  Yesterday made my umpeteenth visit, on a very busy Saturday, with people I hardly knew.  They were unorganized in their attack of the park, but instead set upon it like rabid... well, what they were, tourists.  We crossed the park multiple times, going from a ride in Adventureland, to Tomorrowland, back again to Frontierland.  And, anyone who knows the layout of the park knows, that's a whole lot of walking.  No quarter was given, meals were few far between.  But, they got in the experience they wanted, I snuck in a few things I enjoy as well.  With very tired sore feet, little food in my belly, sitting in my car, glad to be away from the crowds, I have to admit to myself that I still had a good time.

Even working at Disneyland for 9 whole days back in the late 80s, at one the worst attractions you can find there, failed to sour my affection for "The Happiest Place On Earth."  If you're scratching your head as to what I could be talking about, I'll just save you a headache & tell ya.  I, Paul, wore a gold peasant shirt, tasseled faux-suede pants, moccasin slippers raccoon-skin headband.  Not a raccoon-skin hat.  A raccoon-skin HEADBAND!  Just a strip of fur, wrapped around my head, with a tail in the back.  Wear said clothing, I rowed canoes around Tom Sawyer Island (now re-named "Pirate's Lair" to tie in with the POTC movies & becasue nobody reads anymore & has no idea who Tom Sawyer is.)  After 2 days of that, & discovering the whole "Happiest Place" thing doesn't translate to my fellow employees, I had had enough.  Quit the next day.  According to them, because I left without notice, I can never be employed by them again.  So, even though I can't accept their money, I still willingly give them mine.

Lets finish this thing up with a few things I have learned from my many visits, & my, albeit brief, employment.

• You can find a silhouette of Mickey just about everywhere you look.  Even on the rides.  For example, on Pirates of the Caribbean.  As you pass through the battle between the fort & ship, look at the blast whole on the fort wall.
• The Matterhorn has two tracks.  One of the Fantasyland side of the mountain & one on the Tomorrowland side.  Take the Tomorrowland side.  Its faster & has more turns & dips.
• Tuesdays & Wednesdays are the best days to visit.  When were there for the above picture, after our wedding, the longest line was 25 minutes.  And I don't even think it took that long.
• And finally, there are no longer any make-out rides at Disneyland.  The People-Mover & Voyage to the Center of the Universe are a distant memory.  Once they were taken out for Rocket Rods (defunct) & Star Tours, respectively, kids were forced to find any dark corner or try to get an empty car/boat on Snow White or Peter Pan.  But, then you risk taunting jeers by smaller kids, or reprimands from their parents.

It's Just Me

Well, here we go.  This is the first in what I hope to be, a weekly blog.  But why, you may be asking yourself, am I doing this?  Which is a silly question to ask yourself.  You really should be asking me that.  Because I'm pretty sure, you have no idea why I'm doing this.  Join the club.

Since it's a little late for this to be a new year's resolution, that's not it.  Not to mention that I don't make those things to begin with.  If it's not something you can do on say, February 3, it's not gonna be something you're gonna be able stick with just because it's First of January.  But that whole new year's resolution crock will be another post.

Is it because I feel I have something important to say?  Not really.  I'll mostly just be talking about whatever crosses my mind.  Maybe it'll be a synopsis of my past week.  Or, a quick review of movie I saw, or a book I just finished.  Or, more than likely, just a bunch of blithering idiocy issuing from my pie-hole.

Really, if were to be honest (which I hope to always be here), it's just a way for me to express myself.  Let those who are close to me, in a little bit closer.  And, to introduce myself to those who are curious to what I might have to say.

So, there ya have it.  Another blog with no real reason for it's existence other than that I want it to.  And, when it comes down to it, that's the only reason that matters.  See ya next week!