Third Time's A Charm?

Here we are again. Two Left Over has studio time booked for Sunday. Nobody is sick. Nobody is leaving town. We had practice on Thursday & everything sounded pretty good. Let's just hope that we can duplicate some of that in the studio.

There are four songs we want to get down. The main goal for Sunday is to get the drum tracks laid for all of them. Setting up the drums is the most time consuming thing about recording. Also, if ya hafta break down & reset-up for another session, it's the hardest thing to make sound the same. Guitars & Bass, you just write down dial settings & you pretty much are good to go no matter how many times you do it. Drums, not so much. If a mic is set just a little differently from the time before, it can give ya a whole new sound. So, we'll hope for the best & my work me till I collapse on my kit.

Raiders Mid-Season Evaluation

Before I get into this, a quick 2LO update.  Once again, illness stood in the way of getting into the studio.  Brian just couldn't pull it off.  We'll try again, hopefully sooner than later.  But with the holidays coming up, you never can tell.

On to the Raiders.  Well, it looks to be another season of futility.  We're 2-5, & I can honestly only see one more possible win on the schedule.  Oh, what a glorious legacy we're building.

Let's start from the beginning, the preseason.  Things looked a little better, even though our record didn't show it, which was 1-3.  But one thing was evident, they were gonna have one hell of a running game.  Justin Fargas was coming off his first full, healthy season.  Looking like he was gonna pick up right where he left off.  Darren McFadden appeared to be as good as advertised.  And, Michael Bush, after missing his entire rookie season, recovering from a broken leg, looked to be worth that gamble of a late round draft pick the year before.  The passing game was something else entirely.  JaMarcus Russell was essentially starting his rookie season, having made only one start the year before.  And he looked just like it.  The receiving corps was old and/or injured, & it showed.  The defense was the only thing that looked the same, uneven.  Hope was, this would all come together as the season went on.

I'll break up the rest into two parts, pre-bye week & post-bye week.  Or, the Kiffin era & the Cable era.  Pre-bye record, 1-3.  Even though the record wasn't so great, the team showed promise.  The Raiders did get blown out in their opener by the Broncos.  But the other two losses came late in the game, with Raiders actually leading going into the 4th quarter.  The only problem, the defense got gassed.  The offense just wasn't able top stay on the field for any extended time, to let the defense rest up.  The main thing that you could take away from these first four games, was the Raiders were improving.  They were playing with more heart than I had seen since their Super Bowl run in 2002.  Lane Kiffin had these players buying into what he was selling.  But, nothing good is meant to last in Raiderland these days.  In only what could be called a "I'm taking my ball & going home" move, Al Davis fired Kiffin, going into the bye week.  Embarrassing himself, & his organization with his self-serving news conference & was once again stunting whatever growth his team could have made.  At this point, enter Tom Cable...

Post-bye week record, 1-2.  Every week, from here on out, will be an adventure.  I have no idea the identity of this team.  JaMarcus Russell, has hell of a cannon for an arm, but lacks the ability (so far) to make that soft, touch pass.  McFadden has been slowed by a turf toe injury & Fargas healthy, full season run ended at one.  He was out a couple weeks with a groin pull.  The aging receivers seem incapable of consistently catching a pass.  The defense is still uneven, & week against the run.  As far as the new coach goes, I'll just quote Mr. Davis from his news conference, "Who's gonna introduce Tom Cable?  I don't know that much about him."

Eight weeks down, nine more to go.  Just win baby...  please!

For Those About To Rock?

The time has come again.  Two Left Over is heading back into the studio on Sunday... maybe.  This time though it's not my fault.  Brian is the sick one this time.  He might be able to go, but he'll make that decision Saturday morning.  Knowing Till, he'll be a goer, regardless if he's 100% or not.

I have mixed feelings about recording.  On the one hand, we've got some pretty good new songs that I'd love to have a good, clean recording of.  A way to show that we're not just goofing around (which there is plenty of), but that we're a functioning band.  Also, it gives me the opportunity to share that music with other people, since we don't get out & play live very often.  On the other hand though, I hate the process of recording.  It's very sterile.  It lacks the fun & looseness of just jamming it out while practicing, or even performing for the masses.  Everything has to be exact.  Every little detail has to be there.  You can't cover it up by just playing louder.  The mics won't let ya get away with anything.  Which means, playing the same song multiple times to get a take that you can live with.

My attitude about the band, as whole, has changed since the last time I blogged about it.  I'm looking at the band in the way that I did when me & Brian decided to do it again as 2LO.  It's a release.  A way to get away from the usual bullshit, & just let it all go.  It's my bi-weekly therapy session.  I know my place in the band, & I know that Brian wants me in it.  Our last show wasn't what I hoped it would be, but it did rekindle the desire to do it again.  Hopefully this recording session will make that flame burn even brighter.  I'll keep ya in the know.

The Bourne Ultimate Supreme Identity

I recently just finished "The Bourne Ultimatum."  And let me tell you, every chapter felt like a punch in the face.  And the finale was like a big ol' kick in the crotch.  If you haven't read this & have plans to, stop reading now.  Becuase I will be spoiling the ending.  Still here?  Then let's move on.

This had to be some of the worst dialogue I've ever read.  Who talks like this?  Ever!?!  Every year I read a classic novel, & the old world english in those books was often easier to swallow.  It never felt like I was reading a conversation.  It felt like someone who had listened to a conversation, took out all the slang & warmth, & regurgitated it back on the page.  Using affectations like "Darling."  Darling!?!  Who calls the significant other darling in the 20th century that doesn't star on "Leave It To Beaver"?  Other times, it was like listening to people who felt they were too smart for the room they were in.  It often felt like the author was talking down to you.  Throwing in dialogue in foreign languages, without ever offering a hint at the translation.  "Oh, you don't know French?  How droll the commoners can be.  Well, you better ask some of your more educated colleagues to read it to you."  And these so-called "conversations" would go on far too long, without character identifiers.  Sometimes they would be between three characters, & you could no longer tell who was saying what.  Add all of this together, & you get constant frustration on the readers part.

Here come the spoilers.  If you've seen the movies, you still don't know how this book ends.  Because other than having an amnesiac killing machine named Jason Bounre as the main character, they have absolutely nothing in common.  While in the movie, you often feel sympathy, even empathize at some points, for what Jason Bourne goes through.  You never make that connection with the book version.   That Jason Bourne is a whiny, self-serving dick.  Through all three books, his main nemesis is a master assassin called Carlos the Jackal.  In "The Bourne Ultimatum," the final showdown between the two was to take place.  Throughout the book, Jason Bourne has one, never-ending mantra.  "No one else can, or will kill the Jackal!  Only I can do it!"  He constantly turns away help, & alienates those that have the audacity to offer it.  But that never stops him from complaining that (excuse me while I paraphrase Danny Glover) that he's getting to old for this shit.  Regardless of his dwindling skills & refusal of aid, which gets him almost killed a number of times, he finally tracks down Carlos.  And with all his grandstanding of being the sole person on earth who could kill him...  HE DOESN"T FUCKING KILL HIM!!  Someone else does it!  All that build up for some very minor character to get the glory?  WTF!?!

I truly enjoyed the first two books in the series.  But, it really felt that Robert Ludlum had lost all interest in the character by the time he got to this one.  He no longer cared for the character & didn't want you continually bugging him for another installment.  So, instead of killing off Jason Bourne, he tried killing off your desire to read about him.  Well, congratulations.  Job well done Mr. Ludlum.  Well done.

What Do Ya Think?

Didn't really have a lot to say this week.  So instead I spent my time changing up the look of the blog.  What 'cha think?  Leave a comment & share your opinion that I'll more than likely ignore.

Where'd September Go!?!

Wow! It's been over 3 weeks since my last blog. But there is a good reason for that.

I. WAS. BUSY!!

The month of September was insane. I could count on one hand the number of free nights I had to sit down blather at you about a bunch of nonsense. I'll do my best to catch you with my, much less exciting than it sounds, life.

On September 9th, Liz & I had our 1st wedding anniversary.  I can hardly believe it's been that long already.  It has been an amazing year.  Since the the 1st year is paper, we exchanged tickets to an Angels vs. A's game.  We also went out for dinner that night at Ruth Chris.  Good food, & probably the best bleu cheese dressing I've ever had.  That weekend, we headed down to San Diego for a little getaway.  Went to the San Diego Zoo, & saw one of the best things ever. The had a habitat that was shared by some monkeys & otters. One monkey had decided his goal was to mess around with one of the otters. Grabbing at it, chasing, even swimming behind it. Eventually, the otter went to the others for protection. Soon, the chase had been reversed. I could have watched this species war all day! We also visited the Gaslamp Quarter & overall had a real nice time.

The following weekend involved another road trip.  This one in the opposite direction & about 4 times as long.  We were off to Sacramento to attend a friends wedding.  Stayed at the Grand Sheraton Sacramento.  Very nice hotel, but horrible pillows.  Got to go to one of my favortie places up there, Fanny Ann's Saloon.  Love the Thunder Humper!!  Visited the California State Railroad Museum & did some shopping in Old Town Sacto.  The wedding was fun & unique.  It also made our 20 minute wedding service seem like a congress filibuster.  It had to be about 10 minutes long.  No messing around & right to the point.  The best part was the remote controlled car that shot down the aisle when the rings were asked for.  Classic.

Then, this month was my turn to host Bad Movie Night.  A small turn out this time, due to everybody else having crazy schedules this month as well.  But good times were still had.  I shared two of my favorites, "Cutie Honey" & "Dragon Ball: The Magic Begins."  Both are live action versions of Japanese animes.  Both are crap-tastic!

Add in band practices, a dinner for the OC Ronald McDonald House, seeing "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" & a trip to the LAC Fair.  Those combined with what I've already detailed, & other things that have slipped my mind equals to busy to sit down to do this.  But October looks much less crazy.  So hopefully I'll be back on schedule.  See ya next week!

Summer Movie Rundown

With Labor Day come & gone, so has the summer movie season. While I didn't get to see all the movies I wanted to, I got out to quite a few. And overall, I would have to say, that this was one of the better summers. Lots of good times were had, & only once did I really feel like my money had been wasted. Here's my list, from best to worst, of my 2008 summer movie going experience.

(1) The Dark Knight

I've already gushed all over this one in a previous post. So there's no need to do it again. I'll just say, this was my favorite movie of the summer. But honestly, not by all that much.

(2) Iron Man
This was a close second. But it was first in the most fun I had at a movie this summer. All the actors were on point, & gave themselves over to their characters.

(3) Wall-E
I don't know how Pixar keeps doing it, but I hope they do it forever. Great story. Beautiful visuals. Just an all around great movie.

(4) The Incredible Hulk
You can count me among the very few that actually liked the first Hulk movie. But this one delivered what the first one only teased you with. The Hulk causing mass amounts of havoc. Hulk smash!!

(5) Get Smart
I'm a big fan of the original series. So I went into this movie with a lot of skepticism. But, they really pulled it off. Alan Arkin is genius as The Chief. And Steve Carrell's take on Maxwell Smart payed homage to the old, while bringing him into the 21st century. I just wish Don Adams had been alive to make a cameo. That probably would have knocked this up another notch.

(6) Step Brothers
This movie made me laugh more that it had a right to. You could call me a fan of Will Ferrell, but I don't think he's a comic genius. But, teaming him with John C. Reilly is nothing short of that. These two have great chemistry & you can't wait to see what they're are gonna do next.

(7) Hellboy 2: The Golden Army
Love Hellboy. Loved the first movie. Really liked this one. But it was lacking something that made the first one a home run. The warmth of the relationship between Father & Hellboy. You get a small taste of it at the beginning. And they try to substitute the relationship between him & Liz Sherman for that. But, it's just not the same.

(8) Kung Fu Panda
Just a good kids movie. Unlike the Pixar movies, there's really nothing in it for the "adult" audience. But man-childs like myself just smiled the whole waqy through.

(9) Tropic Thunder
Another movie I didn't have high hopes for. But, again came out surpirsingly very entertained. Tom Cruise steals this movie by the halfway mark. He needs to do more stuff like this, that takes him completely out of himself.

(10) Wanted
Over the top violence & ridiculous physics. That to me always spells good times to me. This summers answer to Crank & Shoot 'Em Up.

(11) Death Race
The first of the movies that somewhat dissappointed me. This is a violent movie. unfortunately, all the aforementioned violence gets taken out on the cars. And after awhile, you get tired of watching bullets go into a 6" thick piece of steel. The gore that was present, was great. Just really could have used a bit more of it.

(12) Indiana Jones and the Kindom of the Crystal Skull
I think my friend Lisa summed it up pretty well, when she said this was great homage film to the Indiana Jones franchise. Way too much CGI, not enough practical stunts. George Lucas needs to learn that technology does not make everything better.

(13) The X-Files: I Want To Believe
And I wanted a better movie. This really just plays like a extra long X-Files episode. While I'll agree when people say that you don't need to know the charaters history to enjoy the film. It certainly helps though.

(14) Sex and the City
Not something I was really itching to see. But, it was a must-see on Liz's list. I'll admit, I've probably seen most of the episodes of the TV series. And I think that it was often entertaining. But, this is a movie for it's hardcore fans. Aka, women. Leave your penis at home for this one.

(15) Speed Racer
Truly the only movie on my list that I regretted giving money over to see. A complete disaster of a movie. This movie has no idea who it's trying to target. The bright colors & pooh flinging jokes aim right at the kids. But the 15 minute monolouge on how the stock market & business of auto racing effects how Speed should be racing, targets... no one I can think of. Swing & a miss.

Movies I Wish I Hadn't Missed
Hancock
Journey To The Center of the Earth
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Pineapple Express
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Hamlet 2
Traitor

Movies I'm Glad I Did Miss
(Even though I may still some on DVD, becuase I just can't help myself)
What Happens In Vegas
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
You Don't Mess With The Zohan
The Happening
The Love Guru
Meet Dave
Mamma Mia!
Swing Vote
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
Fly Me To The Moon 3D
Disaster Movie
College

Dear Silvio DiSalvatore

I had the opportunity to watch your directorial & writing debut "Black Cougar" this past weekend. And at this time I would like to have you arrested for theft. You've stolen 106 minutes of my life that I will never get back. No, that's not enough. I'd like to charge you with murder. For my soul suffered, & I became dead inside while I was watching your film. You killed a little part of me. Now if you could only add assault to the charges, & come beat me over the head until I forget I ever saw this piece of crap.

I don't question your motives. You wanted to create a superhero, for children. That's very noble. But what you actually created, was something that appeared to be made by a 5 year old. It was remarkably simplistic, while at the same time being completely convoluted & bloated. I could have edited this baby down to 30 minutes & told the exact same story. Actually, I could tell the story without in less than that. Here it is. It's Pinocchio!! There, done! I just saved someone else from excruciating torture, the equivalent of jamming knitting needles into their eyes & ears.


Since I've touched on the story & script, let's completely punch it in the face. I've seen more believable characterizations in Bugs Bunny cartoons. The villians were drinking out of skull chalices! They kidnapped children while driving up & down the streets in not one, but two, stretch limousines!! How do you sneak up on any one, in something so conspicuous!?! And how the hell does a Mayor of some suburban city warrant a limo? The Mayor of Los Angeles doesn't roll that large. That's one high class of criminals for such an underground operation.

And finally, the look of this film. I understand this is low budget. The entirety of which seemed to be blown on aforementioned limos. But there are things that just can't be ignored. YOU. THREW. A. RUBBER. RAT! WTF!?! I didn't realize rats could fly? An army of action figures!?! ... I have no words for that one. Actually, I have no words left. I spent too many on this travesty. Far more than it deserves.

That's not entirely true. I do have 4 more words for you...

Fuck you Silvio DiSalvatore.

Little Done & Little To Say

Not a whole lot to report this week. Plus, I've been working late every night this week, so this'll be a short one. Liz some how managed to strain her back Saturday morning, so no movies were seen, nor did we really leave the house for that long. The parentals came down on Sunday to take Liz out to lunch for her Birthday. A little late, but it's the though that counts. So, pretty much an uneventful weekend. And like I previously mentioned, I've been putting in extra hours at work. Which means when I get home, the last thing I really want to do is try to be funny for my 9 readers. I just got home from band practice. So now I'm extra tired & kinda stinky. So, we'll just leave this one here. See ya next week, with hopefully a better post. Late.

So That Happened

Don't know if I mentioned it, but my band Two Left Over had a show last week. Honestly, not one of my best. Near the end of our very first song, one of my cymbals falls right on top of me. It hits my hand, & takes a chunk outta the knuckle on my right pinkie finger. Then, while getting up to reset the cymbal stand, I manage to kick over my barely touched beer. Which spills on my backpack & hat. I knew then, it was gonna be one of those nights. Being off the stage for so long, had more of an affect on me than I thought it would. I was rushing things, missing ques & overall lacked focus. So much so, that after the show I neglected to retrieve a dropped stick & almost forgot my hi-hat stand. But, there was some good news. We debuted a new song, still in a somewhat rough form. Everybody dug it! So, that always makes ya feel good. We also hit that double digit mark I was hoping for. Maybe we could do this a little more often after all.

Thanks as always, go out to Mark & DiPiazza's for letting us take the stage. He's a great guy & runs an awesome venue. Not to mention, the pizza kicks ass as well. Hope to see y'all out there next we rock out! Late.

On Time & Did I Mention...

My band has a show on Thursday!! I do love playing live.  But, there is a reason why we haven't done it much, as of late.  And, truth be told, I think I'm the instigator behind it.

It's been almost two years since our last show.  At the very same venue we're about to rock in a couple of days time.  We had a pretty good show.  It was just really a shame that no one was there to hear it.  When you're an older band, your fan base is usually older as well.  Which means, they are harder to get out to hear ya play.  Also, it's not like we're a big time act.  So, it's also difficult to get people to multiple shows.  Our last show, we had (if I remember correctly) 4 people show.  After that, I said I wasn't gonna go through all the effort, for a glorified practice session.  But, I also didn't think it was fair to the people we booked with.  They expect us to bring butts through the door.  That's how they make they're money on the night.  I just couldn't justify it, on either side of the equation.

But, time moves on & things change.  Brian assures me he can bring in some new people he's met & have never seen us play.  I also have wrangled a person or two.  John's pretty much a non-factor most shows, as far as guests go.  But, as long as we can get double digits through the door, that'll be a successful night, in my eyes.  So, c'mon out & enjoy the night life.  We'll have a beer, or two, or three...

It May Be Late...

But I didn't forget altogether.  Things were just very busy this weekend, & when Tuesday rolled around, I was in a pretty vegetative state.  So, since I just got back from band practice & feeling kinda tired, I'll make this just a quick recap post.

This past Saturday was Liz's 25th Birthday.  Woohoo!!  To help celebrate, her parents drove down from Concord.  We had planned a beach shindig @ Huntington Beach, but we didn't count on one thing.  The US Open of Surfing, happened to be going on that weekend as well.  So, parking was at maximum capacity.  A few friends had to turn around and go home, because there was no parking to be had.  But, the few people that were able to make it, had a good time.

The other big news, my band, Two Left Over has a gig!!  We don't play out very often anymore, by our own choice.  So when we do, I get a little excited.  As soon as I put it together, I'll post the flyer at the top.  Maybe it's already there.  If not come back tomorrow.  Even if it there, come back tomorrow anyways, just for the hell of it.

Movie Review: The Dark Knight

Can you believe it!?!  I said I was gonna get back on schedule & I did!  Woohoo! 2 weeks in a row.  I'm unstoppable.  That is until I stop again, & who knows when that'll be...

I'm gonna talk about one of the best movies of the year today.  The latest Batman installment, The Dark Knight.  I know what some of you are saying, "Oh Paul.  We all know you're just a comic book geek, & this is all just one big fangasm.  It couldn't have been that good."  Well, douchey reader with your snide comments, you're partly right.  I am a comic book geek.  Not a nerd, but a geek.  I'll get into the differences between those at another time.  But, to your other point, this isn't just fan joy I'm spewing.  Because this movie goes beyond a genre film.  When it comes down to it, it's just a really good crime thriller.  The star just happens to wear a costume & talk like he's been gargling sulfuric acid.

The most interesting things about this movie, are the areas of psychology they delve into.  The Joker has been reinvented in this film, from the last we saw him.  Nicholson portrayed a Joker much closer to the Cesar Romero.  Just with a little violent streak added.  Heath Ledger brings out what the Joker has become in the past decade, or so.  A true sociopath, with no real purpose than upsetting what he sees as the "natural order of things."  What makes his character even more fascinating, is when you put him face-to-face with the Bat.  Batman, known as the world's greatest detective, approaches crime & criminals from a very logical & precise way.  Every step planned out, & every circumstance taken into account before executing said plan.  The Joker on the other hand, has no plan.  He only has drive.  A drive to make others see the world as he sees it.  Corrupt, selfish, petty, insecure, cowardly, chaotic.  He proves all of this by corrupting the one true shining beacon the city has, Harvey Dent.  Turning him into a villian, Two-Face, who is looking for fairness & justice, dispensed by him.  through the flip of a coin.  Guilty, or not guilty.  A 50-50 chance, to live or die.  And all of this just really cracks him up.  Batman sees all of this also.  But he also sees hope.  And that is his drive.  A hope that he can make Gotham a better place, & do it without taking lives.  And that is the final biggest irony.  Batman who won't kill, must face the Joker over & over, with the hope that someday he may be reached.  And the Joker, who the only person he won't kill is the Batman.  Because, where's the fun in that?

Another relationship that is explored, is between Batman & the city of Gotham itself.  At first, everyone embraces what he's doing for the city.  But, once the consequences of Batman's actions are taken out on the city, they are ready to sacrifice him for their own perceived safety.  As it turns out, that is what Batman truly needs to be a real difference maker in Gotham.  He needs to be the city's martyr.  He needs to carry on outside the law, & he can't do that while being celebrated by the police.  He needs to be a vigilante, working on his own terms, doing what they cannot do, nor should be doing.  Batman is the type of saviour the city deserves.  Not a white knight, but a dark knight.

See this movie!  Put aside your notions of caped crusaders & boy wonders in green speedos.  This Batman would punch anyone you said "Holy Half-Faced Villainy, Batman!"  This is not your Father's Batman.  This is my Batman, & I love it!

Trying To Get Back On Track

When I started this, I made a commitment to myself to post once a week. It only took me a few months to break that commitment & skip a week. Once I start slipping, it's very easy for me to fall into a habit of doing so. I want to get back to the schedule that I intended to have. So consider this my first step. I originally planned on doing this over the weekend, figuring that's when I would have the most time. I learned early, that was a poor assumption. But, Tuesday nights however, are full of free time. Mostly because I'm by myself. Every Tuesday, Liz volunteers at the Orange County Ronald McDonald House. So, I find it an easy night to catch up on different things. Now, I'll use part of it to get this barely read blog back on schedule. For this week, I'll just fill it up with some random updates.

Last week, I had bunches of time on my hands, but couldn't manage to get my lazy ass to the computer. As previously reported, Liz has a new job. Her new employer sent her away from me, to far off Atlanta for the week to do some training. But, instead of doing something constructive, I watched movies. Good job, Paul.

Health update first. All better. The pain lasted about a week, like the doctor said it would. If that could never happen again, I'd be very thankful.

Saw some excellent movies in the theatre. Hellboy II: The Golden Army, Get Smart & The Incredible Hulk are all very worthy of your money. And, as I thought, The Incredible Hulk was a pretty kid friendly movie. Much more so than Iron Man. Still had some adult themes running through it, but the pace was more suited to keep easily distracted minds focused on the big green wreaking machine.

Also saw some Gawdawful movies at the most recent Bad Movie Night. It was a zombie double feature. The official remake of Day of the Dead, & the unofficial sequel to the original, Dawn of the Dead 2: Contagium. I won't bother trying to describe them, because no one should ever see them. Unless your like me & enjoy self-torture through cinematic equivilant of red hot pokers to the eyes & ears.

Almost finished with my annual classic novel reading. This year I chose "Uncle Tom's Cabin." And while trying to stay out of territory that no white man is safe, I'll just say this. I think using "Uncle Tom" as an insult, is very ignorant. Made by people who never actually read the book & understood who Tom really was. He held many characteristics I would be proud to share.

I think that's good enough for a comeback. Covered a lot of things In quick, easy to swallow bites. Now, let's see if I can keep it up. Until next week(?).

"Do You Smoke Cocaine?"

That was one of the fun questions I got to answer Saturday morning, by a very helpful person from Kaiser Permanente.  Why would they be asking me such a question?  Well, somehow on Friday, I managed to pull a muscle in my ribcage.  At first, it felt like a small painful twinge when I would yawn, or take a deep breath.  But, by 5am Saturday, it felt like someone was stabbing me in the ribs every time I attempted to inhale.  And, do mean attempt.  Breathing was not it's usual "take for granted something I do everday" thing at that time.  I had to concentrate to keep my breathing steady.  My head was telling my body, "Breathe dammit! I need oxygen!!"  While my body was screaming back, "Screw you brain!  It hurts when I do that!!  I'll give you little shallow ones, & you're just gonna hafta make due with those."  Well, that just was gonna do.  I had to call the after hours "Nurse Help Line" to get some help.  I tried to have Liz deal with them, because talking wasn't all that fun either.  But, they needed to ask me questions, including whether or not I smoked crack.  Then, I had to wait another 2 hours before I could go to Urgent Care to see a doctor.  But, by then, the 800 mgs of ibuprofen I had taken had kicked in.  It still hurt, but at least I was able to breathe normally again.  She told me it was a muscle pull.  Not really anything you can do for that, other than give ya more ibuprofen.  Can't really rest that muscle, because that would entail not breathing, & doctor's can't really recommend that.  So, that's where things stand now.  But, there's nothing like starting your weekend at the doctor's office.  Good times...

May... I Mean, June Flowers

Well, I was gonna blog about how our front porch turned into a pigeon graveyard.  But really, how much is there to say.  We came home, saw a big grey lump in front of our door.  Got closer, turned out to be a pigeon.  It wouldn't fly away, but we were able to get it away from the door.  Went inside, and Liz would check on the bird occasionally.  Couple of hours later, the pigeon was dead End of story.

What I really want to blog about is...  Liz got a new job!  Yay!!  It's right down the street from where she used to work.  The company does basically the same thing as her old company.  And, she's gonna get paid an itsy bit more than what she was making before, for pretty much doing the same job.  All is right in the world again.  We had enough in savings, plus the little she was getting in unemployment to get by.  But, it's nice not to have to worry about it anymore.  She starts this Tuesday, so wish her lots o' luck!

The Question That Dare Not Be Answered But Will Be Regardless

Nothing has really been going on around my parts.  Which can make it difficult for someone who's trying to do a somewhat regular blog.  So, today I decided to find the answer to the question I really don't want an answer to, but must have anyway.  How many people actually read this?  I figured the easiest way to do this, is with a simple poll.  So please take the poll over there on the right & give me the answer I fear.  Thanx!!

Universal Spit-In-Your-Face Studios

This past week, I won tickets from a local radio station (KROQ) to go to Universal Studios.  They had a special event, where you got to enter the park before it opened, & go on the new "The Simpsons Ride."  This meant, we had to there between 7-8am Friday morning.  Which in turn meant, getting up at the really damn early.  But it was worth it.  "The Simpsons Ride" is whole lotta fun.  Even the line itself had things to keep you entertained.  They showed Simpsons cartoons, spoof-posters of other attractions in "Krustyland" and video vignettes of characters running different kiosks in the park.  The ride is of the simulation style.  The car doesn't go anywhere, but moves on hydraulics to give you the sensation of movement.  It's a far improvement over the "Back To The Future" ride it replaced.  A much more immersive experience.  But, maybe a little too immersive at parts...

This leads me to the title of this post.  After enjoying "The Simpsons Ride," we were allowed to stay in the park, & enjoy the rest of the day.  We took in a few more of the attractions at the park, which lead me to the following conclusion.  Every ride at Universal Studios has the central design of spitting water in your face.  We only went through a total of 4 attractions.  We got spit in the face 8 times!!  10 times, if you count the fact that we went on Simpsons twice.  It happens twice on Simpsons, once on "The Mummy" coaster & four(!) times in "Shrek 4-D."  Even on the Studio Tour, they have "Jurassic Park" dinosaurs that aim a water stream at your face.  What the hell is that all about!?!  Do they purposely sit down at the designing table & ask the following question?  "Yeah Bob, we really like the design for the new "Meet The Fockers" dog in the toilet special effects simulator attraction.  But, can we make the toilet spit in the audience's face?"

Rant #2 - Give Me Back My Voom HD!

I hadn't planned to do another one of these so soon, but I discovered something that must be vented upon.  But, this one will probably be pretty short & to the point.

I'm a subscriber of Dish Network, & am I big fan of their channel line-up.  At least I used to be.  I used to brag to my Direct TV friends, who gave a damn, that I had to of the best channels ever.  The first being Monsters HD, 24/7 of nothing but horror movies, from classic to current.  The other being, Kung Fu HD playing, you guessed it, 24/7 of nothing but kung fu movie goodness.  I loved these channels, & would flip to them often.  The other day, while scanning my DVR, I came across the last 2 (of the 5) Planet of the Apes, that I had recorded from Monsters HD, I had yet to watch.  It made me think, I hadn't scanned through the line-up lately to see if there were any new gems coming up in the next week.  I hit the "Guide" button on mt remote, & scroll down to where they resided in my line-up.  To my shock & horror, they were both gone!  What the HELL!?!  Where did they go!?!  Who said they could take these away from me!?!  

I did the only thing that was open to me, I contacted Dish Network.  They basically told me, while updated & upgrading their HD line-up, they removed some of the lesser performing channels.  Translation, Monsters & Kung Fu were part of the Voom HD 15 channel package.  The other 13 channels in that package were crap (in my humble (& correct) opinion).  And Voom probably sells them as an all or nothing deal.  So, they had to feel the axe as well.  BASTARDS!  So, I now turn to you, my readers (are there any out there?).  If you are a Dish Network subscriber & feel my pain, do me this favor.  Even you you don't feel my pain, & had no idea those channels even existed on your line-up, still do me this favor.  Contact Dish Network, & let them know you want them back!  Then, you too, can get on the internet, tilting at windmills.

Psst.  If ya like, you can just click the logo & it will take ya right to them.  Do It!

Rant #1: Comic Book Movies ≠ Kids

The top description of things covered in this blog lists three Rs. This is the only one that truly hasn't been covered. But, after my experience this weekend, I think it's time to post my first rant.

I went to see "Iron Man" this weekend & really enjoyed the movie.  Why did I enjoy it?  Not just for the special-effects, even though they were amazing.  But, what really sold the movie for me were the things that an older viewer, like myself, would appreciate.  The back story was well fleshed out & the actors were of a high caliber & delivered their performances to that level.  Who didn't appreciate those aspects of the film?  How about the group of 4-6 year olds that were seated next to Liz & I.  This was not a high-action, flashy colors, fancy powered comic book movie.  This was the story of a alcoholic, womanizing billionaire who puts on a high-tech suit of armor.  He does this not only to fight the bad guys, but because he loves the attention he gets from doing it.  All, of these things go beyond the reach of the children spread throughout the theatre.  Because of this, the group next to us soon lost interest & became very antsy, unable to sit still.  Eventually, becoming a distraction, as I tried to enjoy the movie.  This could all have been avoided, with a little research on the film.  And when I say a little, a mean infinitesimal.  All you need do, is look at the rating.  This was a PG-13 movie.  Not G, not even PG.  This movie was made for an older audience.  Hence the rating.  Pay attention to these things people!

I won't accept the old argument, that you don't want your kid to be only one left out of the big super-hero movie.  When I was growing up, that might be a plausible argument.  If you missed a movie in the theaters, you might be waiting years before it appeared on TV, in some edited fashion, or on a pay channel, if you were lucky enough to have access to one.  Hell, even 10 years ago, I'd even give ya that one.  It normally would take at least a year, sometimes longer, before a movie was released on VHS, or DVD.  Now, it can take as little as 3 months after it's initial theatrical release date before ya can pick it up at your local Best Buy.  And with all the other means of entertainment available to kids these days, is missing the "newly hip" comic book hero movie that detrimental to the playground cred?  I think not.  They could easily use the excuse, while sipping on their juice box & squeezing some out for their hommies, that they were to busy cappin' asses on GTA4 all weekend to be bothered with Iron Man.

Let me do you a favor now.  Movies to show 'em:  The Fantastic Four (both of 'em), Any of the Superman movies, Batman Forever and Batman & Robin (I'm not saying you hafta watch them, but they will probably enjoy all the flash & over-the-top performances), the Spider-Man franchise & next year, take 'em to see Dragonball.  All of these are made with a younger audience in mind.  Don't take your kids to "Batman: The Dark Knight."  Don't take 'em to see "Hellboy II: The Golden Army."  And for the love of all that's holy, do not take them to see "The Punisher: War Zone" later this year!  "The Incredible Hulk," might be okay, but there's no rating yet.  But they have promised a whole lot more Hulk Smash goodness & it's only about 90 minutes long.  Which usually means, not a whole lot of talky-talky, but a whole lot more boom-boom.  But, definitely, take 'em to "Speed Racer."  I know this is technically speaking, not a comic book move.  But, it falls into the same overall genre of films.  It's got lots of pretty colors, high speed races & chimp shenanigans.  What's better kid entertainment is there than chimp shenanigans!?!  For my money, there isn't one.