"Do You Smoke Cocaine?"

That was one of the fun questions I got to answer Saturday morning, by a very helpful person from Kaiser Permanente.  Why would they be asking me such a question?  Well, somehow on Friday, I managed to pull a muscle in my ribcage.  At first, it felt like a small painful twinge when I would yawn, or take a deep breath.  But, by 5am Saturday, it felt like someone was stabbing me in the ribs every time I attempted to inhale.  And, do mean attempt.  Breathing was not it's usual "take for granted something I do everday" thing at that time.  I had to concentrate to keep my breathing steady.  My head was telling my body, "Breathe dammit! I need oxygen!!"  While my body was screaming back, "Screw you brain!  It hurts when I do that!!  I'll give you little shallow ones, & you're just gonna hafta make due with those."  Well, that just was gonna do.  I had to call the after hours "Nurse Help Line" to get some help.  I tried to have Liz deal with them, because talking wasn't all that fun either.  But, they needed to ask me questions, including whether or not I smoked crack.  Then, I had to wait another 2 hours before I could go to Urgent Care to see a doctor.  But, by then, the 800 mgs of ibuprofen I had taken had kicked in.  It still hurt, but at least I was able to breathe normally again.  She told me it was a muscle pull.  Not really anything you can do for that, other than give ya more ibuprofen.  Can't really rest that muscle, because that would entail not breathing, & doctor's can't really recommend that.  So, that's where things stand now.  But, there's nothing like starting your weekend at the doctor's office.  Good times...