Dear Silvio DiSalvatore

I had the opportunity to watch your directorial & writing debut "Black Cougar" this past weekend. And at this time I would like to have you arrested for theft. You've stolen 106 minutes of my life that I will never get back. No, that's not enough. I'd like to charge you with murder. For my soul suffered, & I became dead inside while I was watching your film. You killed a little part of me. Now if you could only add assault to the charges, & come beat me over the head until I forget I ever saw this piece of crap.

I don't question your motives. You wanted to create a superhero, for children. That's very noble. But what you actually created, was something that appeared to be made by a 5 year old. It was remarkably simplistic, while at the same time being completely convoluted & bloated. I could have edited this baby down to 30 minutes & told the exact same story. Actually, I could tell the story without in less than that. Here it is. It's Pinocchio!! There, done! I just saved someone else from excruciating torture, the equivalent of jamming knitting needles into their eyes & ears.


Since I've touched on the story & script, let's completely punch it in the face. I've seen more believable characterizations in Bugs Bunny cartoons. The villians were drinking out of skull chalices! They kidnapped children while driving up & down the streets in not one, but two, stretch limousines!! How do you sneak up on any one, in something so conspicuous!?! And how the hell does a Mayor of some suburban city warrant a limo? The Mayor of Los Angeles doesn't roll that large. That's one high class of criminals for such an underground operation.

And finally, the look of this film. I understand this is low budget. The entirety of which seemed to be blown on aforementioned limos. But there are things that just can't be ignored. YOU. THREW. A. RUBBER. RAT! WTF!?! I didn't realize rats could fly? An army of action figures!?! ... I have no words for that one. Actually, I have no words left. I spent too many on this travesty. Far more than it deserves.

That's not entirely true. I do have 4 more words for you...

Fuck you Silvio DiSalvatore.

Little Done & Little To Say

Not a whole lot to report this week. Plus, I've been working late every night this week, so this'll be a short one. Liz some how managed to strain her back Saturday morning, so no movies were seen, nor did we really leave the house for that long. The parentals came down on Sunday to take Liz out to lunch for her Birthday. A little late, but it's the though that counts. So, pretty much an uneventful weekend. And like I previously mentioned, I've been putting in extra hours at work. Which means when I get home, the last thing I really want to do is try to be funny for my 9 readers. I just got home from band practice. So now I'm extra tired & kinda stinky. So, we'll just leave this one here. See ya next week, with hopefully a better post. Late.

So That Happened

Don't know if I mentioned it, but my band Two Left Over had a show last week. Honestly, not one of my best. Near the end of our very first song, one of my cymbals falls right on top of me. It hits my hand, & takes a chunk outta the knuckle on my right pinkie finger. Then, while getting up to reset the cymbal stand, I manage to kick over my barely touched beer. Which spills on my backpack & hat. I knew then, it was gonna be one of those nights. Being off the stage for so long, had more of an affect on me than I thought it would. I was rushing things, missing ques & overall lacked focus. So much so, that after the show I neglected to retrieve a dropped stick & almost forgot my hi-hat stand. But, there was some good news. We debuted a new song, still in a somewhat rough form. Everybody dug it! So, that always makes ya feel good. We also hit that double digit mark I was hoping for. Maybe we could do this a little more often after all.

Thanks as always, go out to Mark & DiPiazza's for letting us take the stage. He's a great guy & runs an awesome venue. Not to mention, the pizza kicks ass as well. Hope to see y'all out there next we rock out! Late.

On Time & Did I Mention...

My band has a show on Thursday!! I do love playing live.  But, there is a reason why we haven't done it much, as of late.  And, truth be told, I think I'm the instigator behind it.

It's been almost two years since our last show.  At the very same venue we're about to rock in a couple of days time.  We had a pretty good show.  It was just really a shame that no one was there to hear it.  When you're an older band, your fan base is usually older as well.  Which means, they are harder to get out to hear ya play.  Also, it's not like we're a big time act.  So, it's also difficult to get people to multiple shows.  Our last show, we had (if I remember correctly) 4 people show.  After that, I said I wasn't gonna go through all the effort, for a glorified practice session.  But, I also didn't think it was fair to the people we booked with.  They expect us to bring butts through the door.  That's how they make they're money on the night.  I just couldn't justify it, on either side of the equation.

But, time moves on & things change.  Brian assures me he can bring in some new people he's met & have never seen us play.  I also have wrangled a person or two.  John's pretty much a non-factor most shows, as far as guests go.  But, as long as we can get double digits through the door, that'll be a successful night, in my eyes.  So, c'mon out & enjoy the night life.  We'll have a beer, or two, or three...