Rant #1: Comic Book Movies ≠ Kids

The top description of things covered in this blog lists three Rs. This is the only one that truly hasn't been covered. But, after my experience this weekend, I think it's time to post my first rant.

I went to see "Iron Man" this weekend & really enjoyed the movie.  Why did I enjoy it?  Not just for the special-effects, even though they were amazing.  But, what really sold the movie for me were the things that an older viewer, like myself, would appreciate.  The back story was well fleshed out & the actors were of a high caliber & delivered their performances to that level.  Who didn't appreciate those aspects of the film?  How about the group of 4-6 year olds that were seated next to Liz & I.  This was not a high-action, flashy colors, fancy powered comic book movie.  This was the story of a alcoholic, womanizing billionaire who puts on a high-tech suit of armor.  He does this not only to fight the bad guys, but because he loves the attention he gets from doing it.  All, of these things go beyond the reach of the children spread throughout the theatre.  Because of this, the group next to us soon lost interest & became very antsy, unable to sit still.  Eventually, becoming a distraction, as I tried to enjoy the movie.  This could all have been avoided, with a little research on the film.  And when I say a little, a mean infinitesimal.  All you need do, is look at the rating.  This was a PG-13 movie.  Not G, not even PG.  This movie was made for an older audience.  Hence the rating.  Pay attention to these things people!

I won't accept the old argument, that you don't want your kid to be only one left out of the big super-hero movie.  When I was growing up, that might be a plausible argument.  If you missed a movie in the theaters, you might be waiting years before it appeared on TV, in some edited fashion, or on a pay channel, if you were lucky enough to have access to one.  Hell, even 10 years ago, I'd even give ya that one.  It normally would take at least a year, sometimes longer, before a movie was released on VHS, or DVD.  Now, it can take as little as 3 months after it's initial theatrical release date before ya can pick it up at your local Best Buy.  And with all the other means of entertainment available to kids these days, is missing the "newly hip" comic book hero movie that detrimental to the playground cred?  I think not.  They could easily use the excuse, while sipping on their juice box & squeezing some out for their hommies, that they were to busy cappin' asses on GTA4 all weekend to be bothered with Iron Man.

Let me do you a favor now.  Movies to show 'em:  The Fantastic Four (both of 'em), Any of the Superman movies, Batman Forever and Batman & Robin (I'm not saying you hafta watch them, but they will probably enjoy all the flash & over-the-top performances), the Spider-Man franchise & next year, take 'em to see Dragonball.  All of these are made with a younger audience in mind.  Don't take your kids to "Batman: The Dark Knight."  Don't take 'em to see "Hellboy II: The Golden Army."  And for the love of all that's holy, do not take them to see "The Punisher: War Zone" later this year!  "The Incredible Hulk," might be okay, but there's no rating yet.  But they have promised a whole lot more Hulk Smash goodness & it's only about 90 minutes long.  Which usually means, not a whole lot of talky-talky, but a whole lot more boom-boom.  But, definitely, take 'em to "Speed Racer."  I know this is technically speaking, not a comic book move.  But, it falls into the same overall genre of films.  It's got lots of pretty colors, high speed races & chimp shenanigans.  What's better kid entertainment is there than chimp shenanigans!?!  For my money, there isn't one.